How British are YOU?
Recently, immigration has been all over the news. Debates have raged in the Palace of Westminster, city flats and village cottages. In the new year, controversy was sparked when Romanians and Bulgarians became free, under EU law, to work in the UK. More recently, Britain has agreed to grant asylum to some of Syria’s most vulnerable refugees. As an American, my immigration to the UK does not have the tragic urgency of the Syrian refugees. Nor is it as polarising as the latest wave of Eastern European arrivals seems to be.
My immigration story is simply girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy. Before they can live happily ever after in their Devon cottage, however, this girl must meet the approval of the UK Home Office.
This is not as simple as it sounds, nor as easy as most of my British friends think it is, as the questions taken from the official Life In The UK citizenship test, which I have sprinkled throughout this article, prove.
1 Which of the following statements is true?
a) In 1776, some American colonies declared their independence from Britain
b) American colonists were eventually defeated by the British
In fact, I am now keenly aware of what it takes to be allowed to live in the UK. During the process, I’ve had huge highs: marrying Chris, the British love of my life, for example. And frustrating lows, including being banned from the UK for about a year. (I mistakenly applied for a business visa and could not convince the powers that be that I would not be working.)
To be together during that trying time, Chris had to conquer his fear of flying, travelling to New York three times to visit me. It didn’t help that as a technophobic country gentleman he didn’t own a computer… nor a dishwasher, for that matter. Only after a lot of persuasion and instruction could Skype and email become a lifeline for us.
2 Who invented the World Wide Web?
a) Keith Campbell
b) Sir Ian Wilmot
c) Sir Tim Berners-Lee
The following year, however, I was put on probation of sorts, and was granted visas for short periods. It was an improvement, but became incredibly difficult when Chris (by then, my fiancé) was diagnosed with cancer.
On more than one occasion, my passport was seized at border control. I was scrutinised and separated from other passengers. I was not allowed to use my mobile phone and was interviewed to determine whether I was telling the truth about my bleary-eyed arrival into Heathrow.
I’ll never forget the time, after being held for more than an hour, the border control officer asked me why I didn’t tell him I once co-starred in the 1980s television series CHiPs.
It turned out he had Googled me. A bit stunned, I answered that CHiPs was a lifetime ago – 30 years, to be exact. I didn’t think a silly television show was relevant to my being allowed into the UK.
It wasn’t really, but the officer was a fan of Erik Estrada (one of the show’s stars) and wanted to know what it was like to work with him.
‘A lot of work,’ I replied. His friendly demeanour disappeared. Fearing I’d burst his bubble, I quickly gathered my documents and exited before he could change his mind.
3 What Scotsman developed the television?
a) John Macleod
b) Sir Robert Watson-Watt
c) John Logie Baird
In 2011, with Chris in remission, we married and I was granted spousal entry. This visa was valid for two years, after which I faced the prospect of applying for indefinite leave to remain, which required filling out a 37-page form. We also had to produce two years of bank records (for both of us), prove Chris could support me, show we had adequate living accommodation, hand over our marriage certificate, and share details of our wedding, letters from friends and photographs of our life together. I then had to prove I could speak English.
4 By____, in England, official documents were being written in English and it had become the preferred language of the Royal Court and Parliament
a) 1500
b) 1400
c) 1300
Chris fretted about this requirement. After being together for half a decade, my husband still insists that we do not speak the same language. That alone should be proof that we are, indeed, a bona fide married couple.
Finally, I would have to pass the Life In The UK test, costing £50. It consists of 24 questions, covering the nation’s history from the Stone Age to the present day. To pass, one must score a minimum of 75 per cent. A daunting task, to say the least. All in all, it is a stressful and expensive endeavour.
In fact, if you choose a face-to-face hearing with immigration, it costs £1,426. (Applying by post costs £1,051.) And after what had happened in the past, I couldn’t risk not being able to plead my case in person.
It was quite an eye-opener. My English friends were gobsmacked that I, as an American, married to a British citizen, had to jump through all of these hoops. But then there can’t be exceptions. Everyone has to go through this – which is just how it should be. For the two weeks before my test, I crammed, as we say in American. (In the UK, you revise.) My visa expiration date was looming and failure was not an option.
I took the test alongside immigrants from Poland, the Philippines, the United States, Canada and China. Our computers were closely guarded and we were spaced out so we could not confer with one another. Before the test began, the administrators checked behind our ears for microphones. We were allotted 45 minutes to answer all 24 questions. I finished with time to spare, as did most of my other test mates. Our sweet Chinese friend, however, was struggling. I have a feeling he’ll be back and will have to take the English comprehension test as well.
But my efforts paid off and I passed. Later that week, while working out at the gym, my friends were curious about how I did. In between squats and push-ups, I peppered them with random questions.
5 Who were the first immigrants to come to England before 1720?
a) Bretons
b) Welsh
c) Huguenots
d) Germans
6 How many members are there in the Commonwealth?
a) 48
b) 96
c) 63
d) 54
My gym-mates started to sweat… mentally, not physically. That’s when I came up with the idea for taking two great British traditions – the curry and the pub quiz, using questions from the actual test. (I’d also give it a little American twist… to be revealed later.)
7 Sake Dean Mahomet (1759-1851) was famous for introducing both The Curry House and what to Britain?
a) Flat breads
b) The sari
c) Shampooing
d) The turban
Within a matter of days, How British Are YOU? curry and quiz night at the Highbullen Hotel, in Devon, was sold out. For the raffle and auction, local merchants generously donated prizes, with proceeds going to local schools.
Word spread fast. Radio Devon and Radio Cornwall interviewed me and I had some fun quizzing them. They struggled, but were terrific sports. On the night, BBC Spotlight arrived as the curry was served and the wine flowed. Everyone was in a relaxed, light-hearted mood – until I revealed my own twist and announced the rules. Everyone would have to do it as if they were taking the real test. There would be no teams and no conferring.
A collective gasp went through the room… more wine flowed. I enlisted Chris and Highbullen’s leisure manager, Marie, to be ‘border control’ to keep things on the up-and-up.
Before the quiz began, the national anthem was played and my patriotic quizzers put down their wine glasses and stood, singing proudly. As they settled in and border control passed out the answer sheets, I slipped away, draped myself in an American flag and donned an Uncle Sam hat, complete with beard. I danced my way back into the dining room to the tune of America from West Side Story.
A playful tone was set and we were on our way to finding out just how ‘ish’ my British friends were.
8 Which of these forts were part of Hadrian’s Wall? (Choose any two answers)
a) Housesteads
b) Skara Brae
c) Sutton Hoo
d) Vindolanda
Forty-five amusing and slightly excruciating minutes later, the scores were added up. Only about half passed with 75 per cent, and no one answered all 24 questions correctly. No matter, everyone had a cracking time. Besides, they could all stay in the UK whether they passed or not.
And the best part? More than £650 was raised for the designated schools. In America, we call that a win/win! You Brits call it a good result. Oh, and speaking of good results, after an appointment at UK Visas And Immigration in Cardiff, I have now been granted indefinite leave to remain. My happy ending has officially and legally begun.
Watch the BBC coverage of the How British Are YOU? curry and quiz night: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk– england–devon–25872278
Answers to Citizenship test: 1 a) 2 c) 3 c) 4 b) 5 c) 6 d) 7 c) 8 a) and d)
My immigration story is simply girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy. Before they can live happily ever after in their Devon cottage, however, this girl must meet the approval of the UK Home Office.
This is not as simple as it sounds, nor as easy as most of my British friends think it is, as the questions taken from the official Life In The UK citizenship test, which I have sprinkled throughout this article, prove.
1 Which of the following statements is true?
a) In 1776, some American colonies declared their independence from Britain
b) American colonists were eventually defeated by the British
In fact, I am now keenly aware of what it takes to be allowed to live in the UK. During the process, I’ve had huge highs: marrying Chris, the British love of my life, for example. And frustrating lows, including being banned from the UK for about a year. (I mistakenly applied for a business visa and could not convince the powers that be that I would not be working.)
To be together during that trying time, Chris had to conquer his fear of flying, travelling to New York three times to visit me. It didn’t help that as a technophobic country gentleman he didn’t own a computer… nor a dishwasher, for that matter. Only after a lot of persuasion and instruction could Skype and email become a lifeline for us.
2 Who invented the World Wide Web?
a) Keith Campbell
b) Sir Ian Wilmot
c) Sir Tim Berners-Lee
The following year, however, I was put on probation of sorts, and was granted visas for short periods. It was an improvement, but became incredibly difficult when Chris (by then, my fiancé) was diagnosed with cancer.
On more than one occasion, my passport was seized at border control. I was scrutinised and separated from other passengers. I was not allowed to use my mobile phone and was interviewed to determine whether I was telling the truth about my bleary-eyed arrival into Heathrow.
I’ll never forget the time, after being held for more than an hour, the border control officer asked me why I didn’t tell him I once co-starred in the 1980s television series CHiPs.
It turned out he had Googled me. A bit stunned, I answered that CHiPs was a lifetime ago – 30 years, to be exact. I didn’t think a silly television show was relevant to my being allowed into the UK.
It wasn’t really, but the officer was a fan of Erik Estrada (one of the show’s stars) and wanted to know what it was like to work with him.
‘A lot of work,’ I replied. His friendly demeanour disappeared. Fearing I’d burst his bubble, I quickly gathered my documents and exited before he could change his mind.
3 What Scotsman developed the television?
a) John Macleod
b) Sir Robert Watson-Watt
c) John Logie Baird
In 2011, with Chris in remission, we married and I was granted spousal entry. This visa was valid for two years, after which I faced the prospect of applying for indefinite leave to remain, which required filling out a 37-page form. We also had to produce two years of bank records (for both of us), prove Chris could support me, show we had adequate living accommodation, hand over our marriage certificate, and share details of our wedding, letters from friends and photographs of our life together. I then had to prove I could speak English.
4 By____, in England, official documents were being written in English and it had become the preferred language of the Royal Court and Parliament
a) 1500
b) 1400
c) 1300
Chris fretted about this requirement. After being together for half a decade, my husband still insists that we do not speak the same language. That alone should be proof that we are, indeed, a bona fide married couple.
Finally, I would have to pass the Life In The UK test, costing £50. It consists of 24 questions, covering the nation’s history from the Stone Age to the present day. To pass, one must score a minimum of 75 per cent. A daunting task, to say the least. All in all, it is a stressful and expensive endeavour.
In fact, if you choose a face-to-face hearing with immigration, it costs £1,426. (Applying by post costs £1,051.) And after what had happened in the past, I couldn’t risk not being able to plead my case in person.
It was quite an eye-opener. My English friends were gobsmacked that I, as an American, married to a British citizen, had to jump through all of these hoops. But then there can’t be exceptions. Everyone has to go through this – which is just how it should be. For the two weeks before my test, I crammed, as we say in American. (In the UK, you revise.) My visa expiration date was looming and failure was not an option.
I took the test alongside immigrants from Poland, the Philippines, the United States, Canada and China. Our computers were closely guarded and we were spaced out so we could not confer with one another. Before the test began, the administrators checked behind our ears for microphones. We were allotted 45 minutes to answer all 24 questions. I finished with time to spare, as did most of my other test mates. Our sweet Chinese friend, however, was struggling. I have a feeling he’ll be back and will have to take the English comprehension test as well.
But my efforts paid off and I passed. Later that week, while working out at the gym, my friends were curious about how I did. In between squats and push-ups, I peppered them with random questions.
5 Who were the first immigrants to come to England before 1720?
a) Bretons
b) Welsh
c) Huguenots
d) Germans
6 How many members are there in the Commonwealth?
a) 48
b) 96
c) 63
d) 54
My gym-mates started to sweat… mentally, not physically. That’s when I came up with the idea for taking two great British traditions – the curry and the pub quiz, using questions from the actual test. (I’d also give it a little American twist… to be revealed later.)
7 Sake Dean Mahomet (1759-1851) was famous for introducing both The Curry House and what to Britain?
a) Flat breads
b) The sari
c) Shampooing
d) The turban
Within a matter of days, How British Are YOU? curry and quiz night at the Highbullen Hotel, in Devon, was sold out. For the raffle and auction, local merchants generously donated prizes, with proceeds going to local schools.
Word spread fast. Radio Devon and Radio Cornwall interviewed me and I had some fun quizzing them. They struggled, but were terrific sports. On the night, BBC Spotlight arrived as the curry was served and the wine flowed. Everyone was in a relaxed, light-hearted mood – until I revealed my own twist and announced the rules. Everyone would have to do it as if they were taking the real test. There would be no teams and no conferring.
A collective gasp went through the room… more wine flowed. I enlisted Chris and Highbullen’s leisure manager, Marie, to be ‘border control’ to keep things on the up-and-up.
Before the quiz began, the national anthem was played and my patriotic quizzers put down their wine glasses and stood, singing proudly. As they settled in and border control passed out the answer sheets, I slipped away, draped myself in an American flag and donned an Uncle Sam hat, complete with beard. I danced my way back into the dining room to the tune of America from West Side Story.
A playful tone was set and we were on our way to finding out just how ‘ish’ my British friends were.
8 Which of these forts were part of Hadrian’s Wall? (Choose any two answers)
a) Housesteads
b) Skara Brae
c) Sutton Hoo
d) Vindolanda
Forty-five amusing and slightly excruciating minutes later, the scores were added up. Only about half passed with 75 per cent, and no one answered all 24 questions correctly. No matter, everyone had a cracking time. Besides, they could all stay in the UK whether they passed or not.
And the best part? More than £650 was raised for the designated schools. In America, we call that a win/win! You Brits call it a good result. Oh, and speaking of good results, after an appointment at UK Visas And Immigration in Cardiff, I have now been granted indefinite leave to remain. My happy ending has officially and legally begun.
Watch the BBC coverage of the How British Are YOU? curry and quiz night: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk– england–devon–25872278
Answers to Citizenship test: 1 a) 2 c) 3 c) 4 b) 5 c) 6 d) 7 c) 8 a) and d)